Random Movie Reviews

For some reason my blog doesn't load for me anymore. It's an international zionist conspiracy to deny Pakistan bloggers their freedom of speech!!

On to the reviews then, shall we?

First up:
Syriana

What a movie! Awesome movie in case you people don't know what world you're living in. It'll wake you up to the whole Middle East / American oil scene. Very realistic and well made. My heart goes out to the Pakistani lower class workers they show in the movie.
Rating: A


Munich

Another guy movie. This one's a crash course in history about the massacre of the Israeli athletes in the 1972 Munich Olympics by a group of militant Palestinians known as Black September. Innocent Israeli atheletes were taken hostage and killed. The Israeli secret service (the Mossad) then went around killing everyone involved in the attack, and then some. The movie is about this clandestine Israeli retribution.
Rating: B-


Doom

Strike three. You're out. Yet another guy movie, only this one is completely pathetic. I don't know why they even bothered making this movie. It's quite similar to the Resident Evil movie(s) in that it has loads and loads of gore and mindnumbing violence that would interest only a 12 year old boy, yet it's rated R for 18+, which leaves you wondering who on Earth would want to watch this thing.
It has a typical plot involving oh look i'm so cool i have a big gun and muscles and i walk all funny like a marine-type people who are battling mutated zombies (now where have i heard of that before?). The only three mildly creative and new things about the movie were that (SPOILER WARNING) there's a 5-minute session towards the end of the movie that's shot completely in first-person... just like you would see someone play a first-player-shooter game. Really takes you into the action - no matter how unrealistic it was. The second thing was that you start off the movie thinking that the "Doom guy" is "Sarge" (played by The Rock) but towards the end he becomes the bad guy and "Reaper" (with the hot ex-bond girl for a "sister") becomes the "Doom guy". The third thing couldn't have been too exciting since I seem to have forgotten it now. Oh well. (end of SPOILER WARNING)
Rating: D
Recommended list of things to do instead of watching this movie: Fly kites. Kill microscopic ticks with soap and water (they live on sofas). Count the number of hair on your hand. Clean navel lint. Break into inexpensive cars and park them somewhere else.

Oh yeah.. I just remembered the third thing. It was the BFG (bio force gun, or Big Fucking Gun if you're a gamer). Beautiful bloody gun, and you see it fired all of 3 times. Well, you don't even see it when it's fired the third time, you just see the left over effects. All three times however, all the history that goes with that gun is yanked out of the driver's seat and beaten to a pulp on the sidewalk in broad daylight. Instead of being an ultra cool weapon that's green and kills everything in sight, this thing fires something like a blob of flying algae mixed with snot which kinda sorta eats through stuff (zombies, walls) for a little while then gets bored and just sits there and glows.

I so hoped this movie would be something decent, maybe have a STORY or something, but alas, it wasn't to be. Just another good game with a shitty movie to go with it. And no boobs to justify it's existance either (Hey! Tomb Raider the movie was a great movie to go with the game. The conical boobs legacy shall never be forgotten)


To infinity, and beyond!